Foxtel Viewers Outraged by Needless Interruptions to Sensodyne Ads

Foxtel viewers were reportedly fuming yesterday evening when Sensodyne ads were once again interrupted by cricket. In a shock move, MPD understands that TV executives...

Panic Buying ‘Bogans’ Shift Focus to Vitamin D Tablets

As La Niña continues to disappear the sun on Australia’s East Coast, panic buying bogans have been stockpiling vitamin D tablets. A notorious toilet-paper hoarder,...

KFC Rounds Up Bin Chickens as Chicken Shortage Bites

KFC has resorted to questionable procurement tactics following recent disruption to its supply chain. “The humble bin chicken has been pinpointed as a viable substitute,”...

Upcoming Border Security Episode Starring Djokovic Set to Smash Ratings

New life is set to be injected into the gripping reality TV show, Border Security, following Djokovic’s touchdown in Tullamarine Airport overnight. “We think an...

Santa earns $22.80 after completing two billion DoorDash deliveries

Santa Claus has made $22.80 after delivering Christmas presents to over two billion households. “Working for DoorDash is a great way to earn some extra...

Eldest child grounded for one year after revealing “truth” about Santa

A boy from Sydney has been grounded for 12 months after telling his siblings that “Santa is fake”. “Logan won’t be getting any of the...

“Diet Coke will kill you”, says local barfly

Local barfly, Rob, has offered stern words of warning to Diet Coke drinkers ahead of the holiday period.  “What these f**kwits fail to realise is...

Why this CEO prefers swimming ponds to traditional pools

Recent statistics indicate that the market for swimming ponds has been booming during the pandemic. In this article, MPD reports on our brunchtime chat...

Confirmed: crypto addiction surpasses ice epidemic in regional towns

Cryptocurrency has replaced the drug ice as the new scourge affecting Australian regional towns, a new report confirms. “We’ve actually been able to talk to...

Calls for Australia Sail GP to be moved west of Harbour Bridge

A resident from Sydney’s Inner West has called for the Australia Sail Grand Prix to be moved west of the Harbour Bridge.  “As a matter...